More confessions coming soon!!
feel free to add your confession ---> Here
I allowed my 5 year old son to watch Poltergiest on Halloween. I later told him, when he wanted to watch TV and I said no, that little kids who watch too much TV get sucked in to the bad place like Carol Ann. He slept in my bed that night.
-Anonymous
Although my 10 month old may have eaten a few meals today, He only had 1 - 8 oz bottle of formula.
-Anonymous
I was with my wife and three young daughters in the shopping centre and we had just finshed eating chocolate covered icecream cones. My two youngest aged about 2 and 4 had chocolate all over their faces. I was just about to get a wipe to clean them when an older lady came up and chastised me in public for having my kids out in public with food on their faces. So I put the wipes back in to the bag and picked up my youngest daughter out of the stroller and then licked the chocolate off her face and said to the lady "There!! is that better?" she just about had a stroke and walked off all hot under the coller.
Mark
I once told my three year old that Santa was real... I should have been shot! I have since then rectified my mistake.
-Anonymous
I used to joke with friends that I could put my kids down for a nap without a fight by holding them over the gas for a minute, and they'd wake up with a little bit of a headache, and be fine. I also used to joke that I could always get them to take a bath without a hassle by holding them under until the bubbles stop.
And then a daycare provider trying to extort more money filed an anonymous CPS complaint, so now I can't joke like that anymore.
A week later, I got up in the middle of the night to check on my kiddos (you know that sixth sense thing), and stepped on my daughter, who had crawled into the dark hallway and fallen asleep. She didn't notice. I almost had a heart attack.
-Single Dad (doubling as mom)
I had a rough night with my younger son, and was feeling sleep deprived when I woke up at 630 and realized my 13yo was still in bed, he ONCE AGAIN had slept through his alarm. Quick checked the computer to see if we had a delay due to snow, and found out the schools were closed. Opened 13yo's door and yelled "hurry up, you overslept again... you're not gonna make the bus, it's 645!!!" He responded with... "wasn't it supposed to snow? don't we even have a delay?" I waited til his feet hit the floor and told him not to worry, go back to bed, school is closed for the day. Then I went back to bed!!! He was a lil cranky today, but it made me feel better.
-Kelly, PA
When she was 18 months and really starting to talk well, and so cute it was intolerable... I taught my daughter what makes grass grow.
"Water, and sunshine.... and bulls---!"
Until we visited my mom's church, and she passed her knowledge on in Sunday School.
-Anonymous
1 I am a new mom, actually fostering a 5 year old boy. He loves his veggies and refuses to eat any form of junk food albeit a pain sometimes, its really a good thing. Since going to school he has learnt that veggies are detestable things! So now he refuses onions, green beans and asparagus, on sight!
I know how boys like to be naturally gross, so I decided to get even and get those veggies in! I cut up an onion and caramelised them, served them as tapeworms with mash. Green beans - lion hair and asparagus - elephant hair. He gobbles them up all the time but explaining it to his concerned teacher was less funny.
I dread the day he realises the truth! Bad Mommy
- South Africa
when my first baby was born i took a nap with her in my arms she was only a week old, well she slid out of my arms onto the floor , mind you we were poor and only had a mattress on the floor so she just slipped down 4 inches onto a thick carpet for like 2 seconds, but i still spent the next 8 hours sobbing my heart out.
-Ruth in Alberta what a looser i am
I laughed histerically, to tears when my son rode his little baby four wheeler for the first time and drove up the sprinkler in the yard and tipped it over on himself. He was crying but I had a hard time comforting him because of the laughter! It was way to funny!
--Anonymous
My 5 year old really wanted to go to Chuckie Cheese today...I hate that place and already had a headache, so I told him that chuckie cheese had to be closed down because of rats.
Yep I know I suck
--Anonymous
While at the doctor's office I was trying to get some tylenol prepared to give my son before he got his shots and I took my eyes and hands off of my 6 month old son for literally 2 seconds. When I turned back he was laying on the floor looking at me like what the heck just happened. He had rolled off the exam table! He was fine but it scared me for a minute!
-Anonymous
On Friday's I don't cook for my kids, I just tell them to eat whatever they want, which is usually popcorn and ice cream :P
-Anonymous
every so many years my daughters birthday falls on Thanksgiving. well when she was 5 it did. because i'd been cooking all night and didn't want to bother making her a cake i put happy birthday on a pumpkin pie. thing is she hated pumpkin lol
yeah i'm a bad mom
--Anonymous
I laugh whenever my 2 year old son falls. I try not to laugh and just comfort him, but I just can't help myself. It's like watching America's Funniest Home Videos, you feel bad for the guy that gets kicked in the crotch, but can't help but laugh.
-Anonymous
Keep in mind this event happened on a day that this particular 15 year old boy was acting like a 15 year old boy. ATTITUDE, Hormone-filled, awkward hairs popping out of his chin Ball of Yuckyness.
15 year old son says to mom.....
"Mom, why did you even have me? I didn't ASK to be born you know!"
The very wise and very beautiful mother quickly responds...
"Well... I didn't know it was going to be YOU!"
Not nice, and yes, I , oops I mean she would have chosen him.... I, er I mean she would have just chosen him without the attitude!
(don't worry.... he burst into laughter and had to admit that his mother is indeed the Queen of Smart-as-a-whip, lightening-fast, comebacks to snotty questions.)
I, darn it.. I mean SHE wins! -- Dana in Texas
Being the wonderful and kind mother that I am, I sent my 15 year old son with a zip-lock baggie full of Jerky to eat after school. (he loves jerky)
Only to realize , after he left, that I had mistaken the bag of Bacon treats for the dog for beef jerky. He ate em all! ....
so, I didn't bother to tell him about the mix-up.
--Dana in Texas
My son has a serious lip-licking problem.
It's exasperating, and no-amount of chapstick will stop him. So, in desparation, I told him that if he doesn't stop the lip licking, his lips would fall off.
Now, my daughter is worried that her hands will fall off because they are chapped.
--Anonymous
I was hosting a PTA coffee in my home and had spent a lot of time tidying up, redecorating a bit, making sure everything was 'just so.' I baked my special pies and my family's secret recipe cookies and bought the best coffee from Java and Kona. All the ladies arrived and we had just served everyone and I sat down so the meeting could begin.
As I sat down, I inadvertently farted loudly and long. It was an extremely aromatic one, too. Several of the ladies laughed but my neighbor, Martha, saved the day when she said, "Wow, that was a great one, let me see what I can do!" And she proceeded to let out a biggie. Three other ladies contributed rather small, 'ladylike' poots and we got down to business in that meeting.
--Anonymous
I have a hard time getting out of bed in a morning, and my very considerate three year old knows this, and decides to help out while mummy is still sleeping.
For example, he'll get himself some breakfast rather than come and ask me.
Last time he did it (okay, this morning) he had made himself 'sandwiches', with banoffee syrup for ice cream inside. And on other occasions he has helped himself to the ice cream in the freezer. Today he didn't though, but that was only because he'd looked, and there was none there!
--Anonymous
I told my son that his eyes will fall out if he sits too close to the tv.
I also told him that we don't eat in McDonalds as Ronald McDonald eats babies......
I am a bad, bad woman. --Anonymous
My 5 year old told me when I didn't let him do whatever he wanted to that he was going to go live with with his grandma. So without missing a beat I went and got him a suitcase and offered to help him pack.
--Anonymous
I fixed cereal for my 5 year old who was being quite bratty this morning. He started crying and telling me how yucky the cereal was and refused to eat it. I yelled at him and told him to eat his cereal or He would be in BIG trouble.....
After he ate half of it and ran to the bathroom I realized that my coffee tasted really funny/bad. Someone had filled the sugar bowl with SALT!!! the same sugar bowl I used to sweeten his cereal! oops!
--Anonymous
sometimes i hide my pepperidge farm mint milanos so i dont have to share
--Anonymous
The head admin at my school had asked me to teach pre-alg and alg I[13-15 year olds]. After having taught seniors,juniors, and gifted sophomores my career, this would be quite a change of pace. I replied,"Sure, no problem. Be forewarned--I didn't like my own children at that age."
--Anonymous
When my son was going through the terrible twos and all he did was whine about well.... A LOT, his father and I had enough. So one day we told him there was such a thing called the whiny police, who came and got whiny children for being bad. Yeah probably not the best idea, but it worked! Anytime we mentioned the whiny police or if he saw a police car his whining magically stopped!
Kim--Mo
Sometimes my son eats vienna sausages for dinner.
--Anonymous
My kid hates getting his hair cut and nails cut--so I convince him with chocolate. Sometimes just to shut him up he ends up with an entire bag of M & M's.....so I can get the job done.
--Lena
Sometimes I let my one year old go a day or two without a bath. I figure she isn't dirty and as long as her face and hands get washed daily then there is no problem.
--Anonymous
I was on the phone with a friend when she asked me to stop at the liquor store for her. I ran in and left my 4 year old in the car for a bit. WhenI got back, she said, "Mommy, where is the licorice? You said you were going to the licorice store!"
--Anonymous
My son is 1 and i feed him more bottles than food, because i never have the energy to cook, or i give him lots of fast food.
--Anonymous
My child was so scared to have teeth pulled by the dentist so Itold her that the tooth fairy pays more for the teeth pulled by the dentist. I was right. The fairy paid her ten dollars per tooth. She likes going to the dentist now. I also told her that if she gets cavities because she forgot to brush her teeth then she would have to pay to have them fixed with her own money. She never "forgets" to burush her teeth now.
--Anonymous
This is actually something that my Mom did to me, but I think it's absolutely Hillarious!
It was close to Christmas and I was 6, and my grandparents wanted to buy me a white rabbit fur coat for Christmas. My Mom asked them not too, I was too young to appreciate a gift like that and would not know how to take care of it properly.
Christmas rolls around and what do I find under Grandma and Grandpa's tree....? A beautiful white rabbit fur coat. My Mother was FUMING! So, what does she do, she takes it out on the kid!
"Do you know what they had to do to make that coat for you?" she asked.
"Yes I do" I replied. "They had to kill bunny rabbits."
"No..." she said, "They killed the Easter Bunny."
PRICELESS!
Needless to say I never wore the coat. It was given away with the tags still on it.
(of course all was forgotten on Easter, when I still received an Easter Basket....apparently the Easter Bunny had a brother who took over for him.) --Anonymous
I started singing a really silly song to my 2 and a half year old son and then we started dancing on his bed. He started laughing so hard that he got the hiccups. I thought it was so cute so I kept singing and dancing with him, until he threw up all over his bed. I feel just aweful. I couldn't believe that I had caused my own child to vomit.
But even with a dirty bed and puke-soaked jammies, he yelled "Mommy sing it again!" I didn't... I'm not THAT bad of a mother.
--Anonymous
Son #3 told me this morning that he was staying after school today to listen to some audio tapes, I forgot to go get him.
Yep.. I forgot my kid! Dana in Texas
Hmmm - does forgetting that your #1 son was supposed to have a talent ready for his English class today count? Good grief, I flat told the kid he didn't have any talent, but teacher won't take no for an answer! We ended up doing a poster and getting together trophies from some triathlons to show - of course, he could have taken a video - if I'd had any!!
-- Christine
My son age 5 kept picking at his "winkie" , would not quot so I
told him that if he kept picking at it, it would fall off like a
scab does and he would have to pee out of his toes.
--Anonymous
My 5 year old was really mad at me so he said he was going to run away. He packed some stuff, got his jacket because it was raining, and left. I followed him out then turned to get my camera. When I got back outside he was crying, he thought I was really going to let him go by himself. I told him we could run away to Grandma's together.
--Anonymous
I had (and have) a bad habit of calling drivers in other cars bad names. It's usually "idiot" or "moron." I refuse to put one of those fish on my car, because I don't act very Christian when I'm driving.
Anyway, one particularly stressful morning, I was driving my kids to school, and it seemed that every bad driver was out to get me. Finally, after screaming at other drivers over and over, I heard from the backseat the little, sad voice of my seven year old daughter say (choking back tears): "Mommy, sometimes I think that you're not going to heaven!!!!"
--Anonymous
My daughter (age 4) has been going through a stage where she wants to marry her older brother. And, brother (7) is wondering why this is not a good idea, especially when he sees the response of mom and dad, and the looks on our faces when he asks the innocent question.
We've told him that it's against the law (of nature, government and society), and he doesn't get why. I finally told him that if he were to marry his sister and have babies, the babies would be deformed.
So, now we hear big brother say to little sister (quite often), "No, we can't get married--because our babies will be deformed!"
--Anonymous
First child, you glow over, change the pamper every hour; second child still sparkling, change pamper, not so often; third child there's a quick flash, What pamper?
--Anonymous
my mum stabbed me on the hand with her fork for taking a piece of chicken off her plate!!!
--Anonymous
My son, age 4 was climbing on top of everything, the very tip top.
Anyway summer was fast approaching and I couldn't get him to quit all the climbing,
so I told him that when went went to the zoo that summer I was going to give him to the zoo keeper
for the monkey exihibit. Needless to say he still is scared of the trip plans to the zoo.
--Anonymous
My child was being quite snotty and didn't want to eat anything other than cookies for lunch. I told her she had to eat her apple. She threw such a crying screaming fit, that she made herself sick and threw up all over the floor! grrrr!
So, I cut up a new apple and made her eat it. She is plotting my death as I type.
--Anonymous
Sometimes I literally CANNOT get up to take my daughter to choir at 7.45am because I have horrible sleeping problems and I'm too exhausted to wake up or even think straight. SO, I've let her stay home from school since I was too tired to even wake up.
--Anonymous
Whenever my 3 yr old throws a fit, I tell her to either stop or go up to her room. One particularly ugly morning, she went into full diva mode- she was hysterical. Instead of comforting my poor crying baby, I got the video camera out and recorded it. I figure that I can blackmail her with it once she is older and brings a boy home.
--Anonymous
My 8 mo old is finally a great sleeper. So, the other night when he was crying I thought it was a small setback and I waited 5 to 10 min, but he kept crying. I went in and checked on him. He was fine. When I went to give him a dream feed at 10:00, low and behold...a poopie diaper. That was the culprit. I swear it wasn't there earlier or my sniffer has gone bad.
Liz, California
My boys absolutely LOVE broccoli. I got them to eat it be telling them it will make them fart!
--Sarah in Ca
My son is not circumsized, not by choice though. He was very sick when he was born, so he had to stay in the hospital for the first 10 days so he could be on IV antibiotics
His first technical "doctor" visits were done in the hospital, he got his shots there and the post delivery check-up etc etc.
So when we finally checked out to go home almost 2 weeks later, my next doctors visit wasent for 2 weeks,..at that time I asked about the circumcision.
He told me I was too late, it had to be done within the first month, unless there was a medical reason (or i would have to pay for it, which I couldn't) They failed to mention that during the hospital stay!!
ANYWAYS years later my son followed his grandpa around everywhere, even to the bathroom which lol kids do at the age, there he realized this his bathing suit parts looked diff from grandpas. He came strait to me asking why.
I told my son that his "package" was special and bigger than normal so god made it a coat to protect it, and not to worry if he got weird looks from the kids in pe class later in life because it would be looks of jealousy that they didn't get any special protection from god..He was thrilled
I'm evil and lol Ive prolly given him a ego complex about how great his man parts are....
"hoodwinked*
--Anonymous
My Husband had promised to be home to stay with the three kids so I could go to a Baptist Young Womens meeting. He was late and I was a little upset. I called my mother and she said she guessed she would keep them. The kids were excited to be going to Grandmas...well we have a long drive way and I met their daddy and told the kids they had to stay with him. They were all fussing and the oldest started stomping and screaming. I was putting the baby in with dad beside the car and turned around and started windmilling his bottom (spanking) and told him to quit throwing a fit. Finally I understood what he was saying, that his fingers were SHUT in the car door. Now he tells everyone the only way his mom could spake him was to shut his fingers in the door first.
---Tari from the Ozarks
When my 6 yr old son told me that girls do too have "pee pees", I found drawings of the male and female reproductive systems to show him that girls don't have "pee pees". All was fine until the child, who loves medical type stuff, started asking what this and that is. No problems discussing anything (as we would any other type of anatomy drawings) until he sees the drawing of the clitoris on the female diagram and says "see I told you girls have pee pees!". Both my husband and I lost it. We did finally explain that it wasn't what he thought, gave it the medical name and thankfully, he was done then. I'm just worried he's gonna go to school and say something.
--Anonymous
usually when my baby wakes up in the morning, i'm too tired to get up so i let her lay in bed and whine. then, if she starts really crying, i put her in my bed, turn the tv on, and let her lay there and watch tv until i'm rested.
--Anonymous
I am a horrible mother, my son age 4 sleeps with me after his
daddy goes to work. One morning, after he kept me up until 3:30
am, he was saying, mommy I'm hungry, so I gave him a Fudge
Round, turned on cartoons and fell back to sleep. I told him I
had to finish my dream or it wouldn't come true.
--Anonymous
My third son was very thin and he also would grind his teeth at night. I mentioned it to someone and they said he might have worms and that I needed to check. Well it is gross the way you have to check. At night you have to shine a flashlight in their little crack and the worms are supposed to come out and you can see them. SO, I thought I can do that, well I went down to his room in the middle of the night. He shared a room with his older brother. He was sleeping on his tummy so I pulled down his HE-MAM underware and held the flashlight under my my chin. to shine it while I pulled his cheeks apart. About that time his brother woke up and saw me and in a VERY VERY worried vioce said What are you doing. Well I got tickled and never did find out if he had worms.
--Anonymous
i change my kids nappies 2 times in 24 hours
--Anonymous
When I was 8 months pregnant with my youngest I took my almost 3 year old child in my bedroom with me to take a nap. I was so exhausted and I figured it was about that time. Well, I dozed off before she did, apparently, and awoke to the sound of a police officer knocking on my door with my child in tow. She managed to unlock the front door and get halfway down the block in nothing but a pooh slipper, my shoe, a sweatshirt and some underwear and I didn't hear a thing. Needless to say the deadbolt got installed on the door the same day and that was the day I became a paranoid mother!
--Anonymous
My mom used to spank my brother and I with a wooden spoon from the kitchen. I asked her once when I was little why it was stained red, she answered it was from her "first" child, the one that wasn't around anymore. My brother and I were terrified after that that she had paddled the "first" child so hard he had bled to death and gotten blood all over the spoon. I don't think she ever had to use that spoon again. I found out later it was just stained with spaghetti sauce...
--Anonymous
Help keep the confessions coming!
Please support our Sponsors!
----------->
I forgot to buckle my son into his car seat when he was just shy of a year. Arriving at the destination, I gaped in horror at his little body bent over double, asleep.
Never happened again.
--Anonymous
Help keep the confessions coming! Please visit our Sponsors!
You Can Build & Publish your own web Site by clicking this one!
If I can do it, You can too!
I feel guilty most of the time, i love my daughter (9months old), but my life was pretty good before her... dont take me wrong i do love her, but i think for hours what my life would be like without her... and it looks appealing,
--Anonymous
My father in law went out of town and brought back a chocolate bunny for my 3 year old. He gave it to me since it was bedtime, so my son doesn't know about it. Today I brought the bunny to work with no plans of taking it home again, if it even survives the day. And I'm supposed to be on a diet.
--Anonymous
I took my 5 yr. old daughter to a family arcade park where we stayed for two hours playing and riding go-carts. When we got back to the car, I couldn't find my keys in my purse...then realized they were in the ignition and the car had been running the whole time. Then my little one said, "Mom, I should have reminded you to take your keys!" I told her I guess my brain wasn't working right!
-Emrosmom
My kids and I were on our way out to the parking lot from the grocery store. My 3 year old son ran out of the door in front of me towards the parking lot. I grabbed him by the arm and jerked him back to keep him from running in front of traffic. and I dislocated his shoulder!!! I felt terrible!! Luckily the ER doctor told me he see's it all the time... that kid got ice cream for a week! and You can bet he never ran out in front of traffic again!
--Anonymous
My hubby and I bought our son some candy at Godiva Chocolatiars.
When he fell asleep that night and I carried him to bed I found
the candy bar laying there and ate it. The next day or so he ask
about it and I gave him a regular chocolate bar wrapped in the
other ones wrapper....couldn't help myself it was SOOOO good.
--Anonymous
My 5 yr. old and I took off to my mothers for the weekend and met my sister with her 2 boys there. We figured that they would all play together and we would have a little girl time while they played. That's what we get for thinking. They were all living terrors this weekend. By time I got home I was so sick of hearing the word "mom" Or "mommy", I fed my son 3 popsicles for dinner to shut him up and then sent him to be. Now to top off the weekend a nice stiff drink!!!
--Anonymous
Son #1 Loves to fish. (love is not a strong enough word, this kid would eat sleep and breathe fishing) For his 14th Birthday I told him we would plan a fishing trip to a catfish farm to go catch some really good catfish. I still have not taken him He turned 15 this past June. (but the really bad part is that Man-Of-My-Dreams & I have gone several times in the past month while the kids were in school)
--Anonymous
My 4 year old daughter wants pancakes for breakfast this morning.... I decided I'm too busy cleaning the kitchen from last-nights birthday party to make pancakes... So she got plain old toast cut up w/ syrup They are NOW called "Mommy's Special Pancakes"!
--Anonymous
When my daughter was 3 months old, I buckled her into the carseat, but forgot to seat-belt the seat to the car. At a stop-light, I heard a "thump". She was face down in the foot well of the back seat, still strapped in. I panicked and pulled over. When I picked her up, she wasn't even crying. She just looked a little confused.
--Anonymous
In the past two days I have used so many paper plates and cups that my dishwasher is not even full enough to run.
--Anonymous
It doesn't make me happy to listen to you cry. An hour nap....that's all I'm asking for...you need the rest, I need the quiet.
--Anonymous
I accused my 10 yr old son of stealing $10 from my purse (he has done it before) he lied and said he didn't take it. I didn't believe him. Grounded him and sent him to bed until he tells me the truth.
He is sleeping now, and I just found the $10 in my coat pocket.
I suck.
--Anonymous
my son's new "Indian" name is Boy who Annoys.. Used to be Bald wise one but looks like he has grown out of it!
--Anonymous
My husband and I stayed up until 5am last night with our youngest daughter that just didn't want to sleep. We were so tired this morning that we called our 5yr in sick for school and stayed in bed.
--Anonymous -- 3/15/2008
My husband and I tell our three year old daughter that if she whines and cries for no reason a monster will come out of her butt and eat her face.
Thing is, it works, but doesn't scare her. Now she tell her 1 year old brother that when he cries.
--Anonymous -- 3/16/2008
My daughter was around 1 year old, and hadn't been walking for long. I carried her down the stairs of our appartment building, and stood with her next to the stroller while I got it ready for us to get going. She kept trying to walk away from the stroller, and I kept pulling her back to me, but while I was fiddling with a disfunctional Wheel, I failed to grab her in time, and I watched her inch towards the stairs. I jumped up to grab her, but not fast enough,.. She lost her footing and fell head first down the stairs leading to the basement, Rolling head over feet All the way to the bottom. I was right behind her trying to stop her, but couldn't managed to do it. She started Screaming bloody murder, and I ran up the 4 flights to our appartment with screaming baby in tow, to find it Locked! I Lay on the door bell, and he finally lets us in. I franticly tell him what happend, and we strip her completly naked to look at her... and she smiles, and sta
rts lauping like nothing happend. She was completly fine. ME, however, I was balling, and couldn't stop crying for Hours. I went for a walk to clear my head, and a police officer stopped me and asked me questions because I looked like I was on Crack or something, from the crying and my eyes being all red, and me still shaking from what I had done. Try to explain that one to a cop.
--Anonymous -- 3/16/2008
My 2 1/2 year old son is potty training, and because the weather has been warming up nicely, when we are outside, I encourage him to just pull his pants down and pee on a tree, or the grass.
Well, ocasionally I work for a woman who own's a local thrift store and I take my son with me. I turned around and he was standing at the open doorway, pants down, and peeing on the front steps!! HAHA! I laughed and told him good boy, but when we're at the store, he needs to 'pee-pee' on the potty!!
I pulled his pants up and scooped him inside, no able to look outside and see if anyone was looking! Embarrassing, but funny none-the-less!!
-- Anonymous in North Carolina -- 3/17/2008
I once showed up at his school cupcakes and napkins in had for his school party only to find I had the wrong day...I blamed it on my son....
"I thought he told me it was today..didnt you say it was today honey...?"
Well enjoy these as my treat and I will be back NEXT WEEK on the correct day with more........please forgive this working mom...blaming her overfilled schedule blunders on her only child....
bad..bad mommy...maybe he wont volunteer me again....hehehe...
--Anonymous -- 3/18/2008
I have forgotten that dang pesky toothfairy also, usually when my guy comes out whinning...
I quickly slip a 5 on the floor and tell him he must have knocked it off in his sleep....
Once he caught me tapped out of cash and no atm for 20+ miles....
I wrote him a note that the T.F. had a stomach virus and would return to work in the next day or too...oooh that was a close one...
he had to leave a little extra for the inconvienance....
--Anonymous --3/18/2008
I think this has to be my WORST moment as a mom. My husband, son and I had spent the day visiting all the "family friendly" places in Vegas. Who knew there were so many?! So by now the sun is going down (thankfully we went in the cool of July! HA!) and my dear, sweet little 2 year angel has turned into godzilla. He is tired hungry and miserable, but we want him to enjoy the pirate show. SOO, in a last ditch effort to get something resembling human behavior I tell my red cheeked squirmy, growly, little monster (I mean my precious bundle of energy): "You know what those pirates want to cook for dinner? Naughtly little boys!"
OK, now you know why I said this was my worst moment as a mom. Threatening my child with canabalism, it can't get worse than that can it? BUT that isn't the worst of it. After the show we walked by one of the "pirates." He in his now sweet baby voice asked this man; What do pirates eat? The response "pizza!" And my son turns to me,
hands on hips, adding in triumph, "NOT BAD BOYS!" At four when he was having a tantrum,and I said he was going to be in the biggest trouble ever; he reminded me of this. I didn't think a 2 year old would remember that.
It must have made a HUGE impression. At 13, he still snidely remarks; "What are you going to do feed me to pirates?!" (Anyone with a teenager knows the thought that follows isn't nice.) I'm just dreading the day he tells his wife....
I'll never get to babysit the grandkids!
--Anonymous --3/19/2008
I was babysitting my nephew and my daughter at the same time (they were about 2 years old) and I went out on the porch to smoke and left the front door open to see them. My daughter shut the door and locked it and couldn't understand how to unlock it again. I was freaking out and had to call 911 and the cops came and a neighbor saw the flashing lights and came over with a key!
--Anonymous --3/21/2008
I didn't buy any Easter Candy for my kids.
We didn't color eggs.
And we still had a wonderful day!
--Anonymous --3/23/2008
I told my kids to hide their easter candy from me.
Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?!?
--Anonymous --3/26/2008
My son was picking his nose and I told him unless he is digging
for me a diamond, then I better not see him doing it again. (We
were in a grocery store.)
--Anonymous --3/28/2008
My son being only nine months old does not understand the law of gravity, so when he is on the bed or couch he just keeps crawling and I have to grab him before he goes over the edge. Well the other day as he was on the couch because being on the floor was just not acceptable to him at the time I kept pulling him back and telling him "you are going to fall!" After about 10 times the phone rang and thought I was going to grab him in time as I turned to get the phone. I grabbed his pants they stayed in my hand as he took a nose dive. Thank God the cat broke his fall he didn't even cry just laughed at the cat who made a loud squeak and ran off.
--Anonymous --3/29/2008
I'm so much harder on my first born daughter than my second born daughter. I wish it was easier to not be like my father.
--Anonymous -- 4/1/2008
Last week my 3 yr old daughter wouldn't get out of the bath tub. I was so not in the mood for yet another fight that day, so I set back and waited for her to get out. After about 40 minutes, she kept saying "skin, mommy, skin, skin" and holding her hands out. I noticed that they were wrinkled from her being in the bath so long. So here's where I get my BMA award, I told her that "if she didn't hurry up and get out that her skin would fall off" Yep, you guessed it, she was out in 2.5 seconds. The next night we were doing the bath thing again and she noticed it was starting to wrinkle again. Her dad was outside the bathroom door, and she starts yelling for him. He peeks his head in the door and she says, "Daddy my skin is going to fall off, I have to get out of the bath tub!" Daddy looks at me and he says "Where did she hear that?" I wasn't sure if I wanted to confess, so just as I began to speak, my daughter peeped in and says "Mommy said my skin would
fall off and it would never come back!" So yep I am a horrible mother!
--Anonymous -- 4/3/2008
When my kids were little and misbehaving I would tell them "Mrs Witch" would come to get them and take them to live with her. I would tell them I was calling her and sometimes I would say she was in the basement, and I was going to see her and talk her out of taking them. I would cackle like the witch on Wizard of Oz and talk about how naughty little boys and girls would hate it at my house.
There was an old house that we would drive past and it looked horrible, and I would say that is where she lived.
I hate to say, it worked wonderfully.
--Anonymous -- 4/4/2008
My Dad was in the military. We moved about 20 times in 18 years. When I was about 7 years old, my Mom told me that if I didn't behave they would move one day while I was in school and not tell anyone where they were moving to. I believed her, and for years was a 'good kid' all the time, scared of my Mom and Dad moving without me.
--Anonymous -- 4/4/2008
My kids would get out of bed and I would tell them if they got out of bed in the middle of the night, Chicken Turtle Heads would come out and eat on their toes.
In my defense however, my Dad told me that when I was little. Works too.
Going to hell in a handbasket...
--Anonymous -- 4/4/2008
I am a terrible horrible no good very bad mom.
My kids were 5, 5 and 6 and I wasn't feeling well, so I made them take a nap, while I laid down to take my own nap.
I woke up to find all three of my children GONE. I was terrified. Looked all over the neighborhood, but couldn't find them. I finally called the police and my Dad and brother to help me look for them. The police found them a mile away. My middle daughters blanket that she loved had finally fallen apart and I had thrown it away. They were going to go to a hotel and start looking for it. They even had monopoly money to pay for the hotel.
Bad part? The police called Child protective services because my house was a mess. They even told me they were calling. (I cleaned the house that night and got a visit the next day)
--Anonymous -- 4/4/2008
Once, I forgot the tooth fairy money for my sons lost tooth. So, I told him it was my fault, that I had forgotten to put a note on the front door telling the tooth fairy to stop by. (Best I could think of on the fly, but he bought it.) So the next night I was determined not to forget. I tip-toed in with the money and as I slid it under his pillow, he woke up and grabbed my arm. He accused me of tryng to steal his money. He said that the tooth fairy hadn't forgotten him, but that I had taken his money.
I don't know why he accused me of stealing, I guess he has a suspicious nature.
--Anonymous -- 4/4/2008
God, I have so many...where to begin?
on the day of my 4 year old'd christmas pageant, i had her all dressed up like a little disco train engineer in red and gold satin. I had elbowed numerour parents out of the way to get into good photo-taking position, and bartered to borrow my cousin's video camera. 5 minutes before her performance, my daughter said "I've decided not to do it, mommy"
I lost it. sunk to petty bribery. i literally sank down in front of her and said "what can I offer you to go up there and perform?"
--Anonymous -- 4/6/2008
When my nephew was 2 years old, MIL dumped him on me so she could run errands. I never have been around kids much so I just kept feeding him candy to keep him occupied and out of my hair for the time being. Between him and I, we split a bag of Mini-Toblerones.
He was up until way past midnight on a sugar rush, and was screaming and terrorizing everyone in the house. MIL never dumped him on me again ;).
~ Awful Aunt -- 4/7/2008
My nephew was biting everything in sight, and he got a mouthful of my stomach one day.
I asked my Mom what I should do, and she jokingly said get him a dog toy that squeaked he could chew on. Worse yet, I was really considering this lol!
~ Awful Aunt -- 4/7/2008
When my daughter was little, Grandma was always taking her to McDonalds for Happy Meals.I moved away from Mom and told my daughter that McDonalds was broke and that all the cars were there cause they were trying to fix it. That worked for about two years. She's now 11 and knows why we don't eat there, but hasn't let me forget it. Bad Mom In Montana
--Anonymous -- 4/8/2008
When my daughter was little, Grandma was always taking her to McDonalds for Happy Meals.I moved away from Mom and told my daughter that McDonalds was broke and that all the cars were there cause they were trying to fix it. That worked for about two years. She's now 11 and knows why we don't eat there, but hasn't let me forget it. Bad Mom In Montana
--Anonymous -- 4/10/2008
When my oldest daughter was four we were in the checkout line and she wanted a Skye Bar. I told her no, she pitched a fit. People were looking. I was motified. I threw the candy bar on the belt and bought it. We got to the car, I strapped her in, I got in beside her opened the Skye Bar and ate it in front of her. She screamed the whole time, I almost gagged on the stupid thing but she NEVER did that again. I still feel bad.
-- Lissa -- 4/14/2008
When my son was about 9 months old and not yet crawling, I had him sitting in the middle of our king sized bed while I was folding laundry on the side of the bed - he was "helping" me. I turned my back for a moment and I turned back just in time to see him falling headfirst off the bed. I couldn't catch him in time. He cried something fierce but thankfully he wasn't hurt. I felt like the worst mother in the world that day.
--Anonymous -- 4/14/2008
when my daughter was about 3, we were running late, driving down the road when we got stuck behind a very slow driver. I didn't think she heard me mutter "move, you stupid cow". A few weeks later, we were driving with my husband's family on the way to a funeral and we caught in traffic. From the back seat, my daughter calls out "move you stupid cow!! to the cars ahead of us. I sure had some explaining to do.
--Anonymous -- 4/14/2008
This morning running around town paying bills and mailing letters. We got in the car and drove 5 blocks from the post office to the library. My 4 yr old says "You didn't buckle me." I was freaking out! After we left the library I put the car in reverse before I remembered to buckle him again.
--Sleepy in Indiana -- 4/14/2008
I forgot my nephew's birthday, party and the whole day. It was also my husbands birthday forgot that too and picked an arguement with my darling husband that night too.
--Sleepy in Indiana -- 4/14/2008
